I Can't Lose Her
by AdamTorresLivesOn
Summary: Adam wakes up the hospital and has only one thing in his mind. Wheres Becky? Adam is starting his senior year at Degrassi, and hasn't spoken to Becky since the crash. When he finally does see Becky at school his world falls apart. Can he fix his relationship and get her back? Or were they never meant to cross paths..
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this story starts when Adam wakes up in the hospital, the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is Drew sleeping at the end of his bed.**

Why can't I move? What happened? Where am I? Why cant I speak? Wheres Becky? All these questions were swirling through my mind at 100 kilometers an hour.  
It was making me dizzy just thinking about all of it. With all the strength in me, I try to call out Drew's name so he wakes up. Nothing comes out, as I keep trying  
to signal him, it feels like a train is running through my chest with every breath. I black out.  
A few weeks pass and days seem like they're getting longer. Slowly my body starts healing, but I keep thinking about Becky. I cannot stop, shes a poision to my kryptonite.  
I need to tell her that I love her, and time is only making me more frantic. More questions swirl through my head. Is she with Todd now that I can't communicate with her?  
Has anyone told her that I was here? I wish my phone didnt break in the crash. I wish I were paying attention. I wish I didn't get so damn jealous about some stupid  
guy. Of course I trusted her, I mean. She trusted me with being around Imogen. The reason she probably hates me is because I made out with Imogen in that stupid van.  
I love Imogen of course. But, not in the same way. I betrayed Becky. I wouldn't be surprised if she would never talk to me again because of it.

School starts in two weeks, and my mom is forcing me to go. I've only been out of the hospital for a few days, but my body seems to be in recovery mood. All I have left is an cast on my arm,  
and a slight wobble to my step. Thankfully, while I was in the hospital, my doctors kept giving me my dosage of testosterone. I've noticed a change in my voice, as  
well as my body turning into what i've always wanted. A guys body. Now I can finally be true to myself, and hopefully Becky will take me back.

Sitting on this damn couch, playing the same games everyday gets boring. Especially with my bestfriend Eli in NYU, my brother Drew visiting his fiance Bianca at her  
university. Nones around to hang out with.

- Adamn, lost in his train of thoughts doesn't hear the knocking sound at the glass door. Eventually the person at the door gives up and clearly sees him on the couch,  
they just proceed to open the door and casually sits next to Adam. -

"Whoa! How the hell did you get in here?" Adam shouts, as he looks over to the mystery girl who found her way into his house.  
"Adam, you never returned any of my facerange messages, or calls. I had to come see if it was true, if it were true that you were okay. After our kiss in the van,  
it made me realize that I love you, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Your accident was because of me, we moved too fast and I scared you. Im sorry,  
I just want you to know that you make my life better. Everyday gets easier knowing your okay, and against all odds, youre still here." Imogen says without taking a breath.

-Adam looks like hes about to be sick and runs off to the bathroom and hurles into the toilet. His mind racing, flash backs of the crash, flash backs of becky soar through  
his mind at the speed of light. He falls to his knees and burries his head into his hands freaking out. Adam soon faints and falls against the wall.-

It's two days before school starts again, Drew's finally back from visiting Bianca, and moms got us preparing for our senior year. This year is going to be different,  
I keep telling myself. Drew and I will basically be ruling the school. You see, Drew can't play sports anymore because of his idiotic choices in the past. Therefore,  
he had to choice an alternative, his alternative being politics. He is now the new school president, and with Clare by his side. This year is gonna rock. Now if I could  
just take the plunge to talk to Becky...

-First day of school Audra drops off Drew and Adam at the front of Degrassi.-

"Bye boys! Love you! Drew, dont get into trouble the first day!" Audra shouts out from the van.

-Both of the boys turn around and Adam lets out a slight chuckle. Drew scowls and nudges him. They smile and continue walking up the stairs-

Walking up the stairs to start my first day of my last year at Degrassi feels so rewarding. I've been through so much within these walls, and to come here a new man.  
It feels so good to be able to look at my former bullies and laugh in their face. Because I made it. I am here until the end. None is stronger than I am, and none can  
bring me dow-

-Adam stops his train of thought to the first sight of Becky Baker in the arms of another man. He drops to his knees and holds his chest like his heart has been  
ripped out and stomped on. Drew notices and pulls him to his feet-

"Look bro, this is NOT how you want to start your year. You knew deep down that if you didn't do anything to contact her, that this would happen. I hate what shes  
doing to you. She shouldnt have this much effect on your life." Drew says as hes holding his brother up.

"Drew, shes already with another guy. What do you want me to do?" Adam says running out of air with every word.

"You don't know forsure that shes with him. Keep that in mind. But as for now, you have to do your best to move on. Or talk to her." Drew says as hes lets go of Adam  
letting him stand on his own.

-Adam watches as Becky closes her locker and walks around the corner. The bells ring and Drew runs off to class leaving Adam alone at the front doors. When all of a  
sudden someone grabs him from behind-

**I am sorry this is short and sweet, this is my first story. Next chapter will be longer, and I promise you. It gets intense. 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay, I got super sick. Here is chapter 2! I will update more. If you guys want, I could post my instagram or twitter so you can keep up to date**** on when the next chapters will be up! So enjoy. P.S This story will be somewhat following the story of what Degrassi has previously aired. 3  
**

-Adam clenches up at the thought of another women's hands on him. He smells a distinct perfume. He's smelled this before, but where? Who could this be? Adam spins around  
and sees the mystery girl. He had no idea who she was. But she deffinatly, knew who he was.-

"So, you must be Adam." The girl eyes him up and down multiple times.

Adam responds, "Can I help you? Who are you?"

"Im Zoe Rivas. Im sure you've seen my tv show. West drive. But im late, sit with me at lunch so you can tell me how pretty I am." Zoe says as she scuries away.

-Adam is again, standing there alone in the hallway.-

That smell.. That perfume was so intoxicating. Its the one I bought Becky on our 1-month anniversary. But how could she know? Zoe was beautiful nontheless. In her  
pink dress that compliments her body, the perfect way her hair flowed down. Her strut, everything. Seeing her could make anyone melt. I knew deep down I wasnt ever  
going to get over Becky, but this Zoe girl could deffinatly make it easier.

-Adam runs off to class. Few hours go by and its finally lunch time. Adam was thinking about his strange encounter with Zoe all morning.

The bell rings, as I sigh. The classroom empties in a matter of seconds by all the eager kids who were anxiously awaiting their food and friends. I still didnt  
know if I should sit with Zoe or not. Maybe she would've forgotten by now. Yeah, I shouldn't be thinking of it so much. Ever since I got put on testosterone, my  
body has been growing substantially. Im not quite Drews size, buy deffinatly not that far off. Therefore, I shouldnt care what one freshman says. I am a senior,  
and im surrounded by beautiful ladies all day. I could probably get anyone if I really wanted too. Lost in my thoughts I slowly make my way to the cafeteria, as soon  
as I step into the crowded room someone grabs my arm pulling me.

"What're you doing?" Adam shouts

"I told you too sit with me at lunch. It's lunch and I was still alone. But im glad you're here now, we can finally get to know each other." Zoe smirks.

"Get to know each other? You're insane. I want you to know how you know me, and I also want to know why you're so aggresive. This is a little too much, especially  
for us being strangers. So please Zoe, please elaborate. Because i'd like to know why a 9'er like you, are trying to get with a senior like me." Adam says as he  
stares into her eyes intently.

"Okay look, I heard what happened to you by the people who were on the Paris trip with me in the summer. I also heard you were a volleyball star and that you were  
trying to get into playing football this year to make it on a varsity team for the University of Toronto for next year. I've always seen myself with an athlete, but  
while in Paris I met a guy who was as cute as can be. His name is Miles, and he left me to be with this chello playing, blonde, goodie good. It really hurt what he did  
to me. So by you sitting with me and stuff I was hoping that he would be.. You know.." Zoe said rambling

"You want to make him jealous with me? Thats stupid." Adam said looking down on Zoe.

-The two stand there in awkward silence thinking about what just happened. Zoe looks up at Adam and sees Miles walk into the cafe holding hands with Maya. Without  
hesitation Zoe wraps her arms around Adams neck and starts passoniatly kissing him. Adam, caught off guard by the kiss.. Doesn't pull away, instead he puts his hands on  
her waist and deepens the kiss. The two, in full make-out mode, get interupted by someone clearing their throat beside them. Adam looks up in disbelief. There stands Becky  
with pain in her eyes. A few seconds pass and the trio look at each other confused. Becky breaks the silence.-

"So Adam, were you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?" Becky says quitely almost whispering.

Adam clears his throat, "Oh, uh this is my friend Zoe. Shes new here at Degrassi, and I was going to show her around the place." Adam says while turning a bright shade  
of red.

"Friend? Okay. I dont usually kiss my friends in public where everyone can see you and get the wrong thought." Becky says in an angry tone.

Zoe breaks her silence and raises her voice enough for a few students to turn and look at the trio. "This is my boyfriend. We just started to see each other and we  
thought that we should keep it a secret, until we wanted to make it public. Its none of your buisness, so you can leave anytime now."

-Adam looks at Becky with an apologetic look, Becky turns around and bolts out of the cafe humiliated. Adam is left with no emotion other than hate, he storms out of the cafeteria and runs to the parking lott in the back where all the burnouts would hang out unaware of whom was following him. He feels a tap on his shoulder, Adam turns around to reveal a fimiliar face.-

"Hey, what was that about and when did you start dating 9'ers?" Clare says with a chuckle.

"Whoa, hey sorry Clare. I didn't start, I dont even know what is happening right now. There's so much going on its hard to keep up." Adam says as he sits down on a wooden box.

Clare nods and sits next to him and puts her arm around him. "If Eli were here, he would say something like get up and be a man. Then ask you to go play video games with him after school." They both laugh. "But seriously, if you dont want to date that girl, you've got to tell her. Then you've got to apologize to Becky and make things right. I've never seen you as happy as you were when you were with her. You two were electric, and deffinatly an inspiration to me. Watching how happy you made each other helped me cope a lot with Eli moving away. But deep down knowing that he loves me with everything he has, and that I will always choose him." Clare explains.

Adam smiles and feels reliefed. "Thanks a lot Clare. You are my bestfriend for a reason. I really appreciate it." Adam says as he hears someone approaching the two.

-Both Adam and Clare turn their heads and see Imogen slowly walking up looking upset. Clare looks at Adam and knows its time to leave. She gets up and walks back into the school.-

"Adam Torres, you haven't returned any of my texts. I was getting worried. Then after seeing you in the cafe with the Zoe Rivas girl, it really hurt. If you didn't want to try to have a relationship with me, it would've been okay if you were to say something. And if you thi-" Imogen gets caught off by Adam putting his hand over her mouth.

"Imogen, you are the most attractive, smart girls in this school. A guy would have to be crazy not to feel something towards you. But thats just it, I am crazy. I am crazy about Becky, and today I hurt her. Something that I was trying not to do, I did. The first time I got to talk to her since the crash. I messed it up. But thats what I do, I mess things up and I just cant pursue a relationship with you. Its not that I dont want too, trust me. I've thought about it, its just. I shouldnt. For Becky. Can you understand that?" Adam says removing his hand from Imogens lips and moving a strand of hair from the front of her face to behind her ear, then placing his hand on her hip.

-Imogens heart starts racing and the heat of the moment gets the best of her.-

"You're such a perfect guy. If Becky doesn't remember that, shes going to be sorry in the run. But just know that I will always be here for you." She says as she intertwines Adams free hand with hers.

-The two look at each other deeply and they both slowly lean in at the same time and share a final kiss. The kiss lasts a few seconds before they get interupted by the bell. Imogen lets go of Adam and steps back.-

"I should go. Calculas waits for no girl!" Imogen says blushing a light shade of pink as she runs into the school.

-Adam walks to his final class of the day. Physics, Adam can't keep his mind off of what Clare had told him. He knew she was right, she was rarely ever wrong. Adam doesn't pay much attention to his class, then before he knows it the bell rings. Adam walks too his locker to grab his car keys and sweater, he checks his phone. Two texts from Drew.-

Drew: Hey bro, Dallas and I are going to a welcome back party right after school, if u want to come feel free too.  
Drew: Btw, Becky told me she wants to talk to u

If Becky wanted to talk to me so bad, why didnt she text me instead. I guess its not that important if she wanted to make my brother let me know.

-Adam throws his phone into his bag and slings it over his shoulder. He walks down the front steps into the parkinglot too his car. Adam gets in and throws his bag into the back seat. He hears someone open the door and get into the passenger seat.-

"Hey Adam, is now a good time to talk? There are a couple of things i've been wanted to tell you since the crash but I couldn't find the words." Becky says as she puts her hand on his.

"Becky, for you. Anytime is a good time to talk." Adam says with a smile. He puts on his seatbelt and starts the car.

-The two have small talk on the way to Adams house. As the pull up to the Torres house, Adam doesnt see Audra's car in the driveway. He opens up the door for Becky to the front of the house.-

"Can I get you anything? A water, a snack?" Adam offers.

"No thank you. I had a big lunch." Becky says as she sits down the couch.

-Adam sits next to her, and feels his hands are beginning to sweat. He rubs them on his pants.-

"So Adam, I wanted to tell you so much, I had so much anger and regret going through me. I didn't know if I was going to lose you, I didn't want to think of my life without you. Then all of my emotions turned into sadness after seeing you with that girl today. I realized then I lost the best thing in my life for good." Becky says while looking down and starts playing with her hands.

Adam looks at Becky and slowly lifts her chin up so they're looking into each others eyes. "Becky, you never lost me. You couldn't lose me if you tried. I met Zoe this morning, and I have no intentions of being with her. You're the only girl I want. I love you." Adam says and he puts his hand on her cheek and leans in.

-Adam starts kissing Becky and Becky leans slowly back on the couch so Adam is overtop of her. Adam slides his hand up her shirt and starts feeling her body. The two are getting into the heat of the moment they don't hear Drew and Dallas walk in.-

"Whoa! Whats happening here?" Drew jokingly says.

-The two get up and compose themselves.- "I see your talk went well huh bro? Dallas and I came back to grab some beers before heading over to the party. Im sorry we intruded." Drew says laughing

"Get out Drew!" Adam shouts and points to the basement.

-Drew and Dallas get the hint and walk down the stairs to grab the beers for the party. Adam, flustered. Looks at Becky.-

"Don't worry about them. What matters is how we feel for each other." Becky says while smiling. Adam melts at the sight of her smile, and leans in for one more quick kiss.

"Hey Becks, do you want to come with me to that party?" Adam asks while grabbing her hand and kisses it.

"I dont know, I have a lot of homework to do, and I dont drink."

"You dont have to drink, and its the first day of school. You cant have that much homework. You'll be okay missing one assignment. I just want to be with you tonight. We can dance. I know how much you like to dance." Adam says smiling.

"Fine. With a smile like that how could I say no. I just have to go home first and change." Becky says standing up.

"Would you like a ride? Or if you want to walk, I could walk you home?" Adam responds.

Becky giggles. "No thats quite alright. I'll be fine. I will see you tonight." Becky says as she walks to the door.

-Adam spins her around and put his hands on her waist and backs her up onto the door and gives one last passonate kiss.-

"I can't wait." Adam says as he releases her and opens up the door.

-Becky leaves and Adam goes upstairs to change into something that he thought Becky might like. He grabs a white v-neck that shows off his slight new muscles, black jeans, and black skater shoes. As well as a red and black snapback. Adam runs down the stairs in hopes to find Drew and Dallas still there, he looks around. Doesn't see anyone. So he goes outside and into his car. He drives to the party, as he arrives he notices a lot of people already there. Adam looks at his phone to see if Becky were here yet. No reply, so he walks inside the house and sees a few of his friends. He walks into the kitchen and grabs a water. He feels someone pulling him into a room.-

"Adam, now that were official. How about we take it to the next level?" Zoe smirks.

"Next level? What? Are you insane? You're drunk and besides, I love Becky, that was the girl in the cafe, earlier today. We made up and were together again. Its gonna stay that way until one of us dies." Adam says rudely.

Zoe, shocked of what shes hearing. Sits down on the bed and burries her face into her hands. "I am so stupid."

Adam being the guy that he is feels bad and sits infront of her on the chair. "Look, im sorry. Her and I have been through so much, everything life has thrown at us, we've conqured. You've gotta know that its nothing you could've perdicted." Adam says as he gets up and grabs Zoe's hands and helps her up. "You should probably put a cold cloth on your eyes so that none knows you're upset." Adam turns and leaves the room, he looks around for Becky. He finally sees her

"Hey Becks! You look great." Adam said smiling.

"You do too, have you been working out lately? You look like you're in really good shape." Becky giggles.

Adam nodded and kissed her on the cheek. "Would you like to go for a walk with me, kind of get away from the Patrick Sh-wasted people?" Becky smiled and grabbed Adams arm.

-Just as the two were about to get into the backyard he hears the music stop and Zoe screaming on the top of her lungs.-

"ADAM TORRES TOOK MY VIRGINITY AND GOT ME PREGNANT. ONCE AGAIN THAT WAS. ADAM TORRES TOOK MY VIRGINITY AND GOT ME PREGGERS." Zoe screams as loud as she could.

-Adam frozen from shock, couldnt move.-

**So like I said, this will be following some of what Degrassi has already aired. So on Degrassi we find out Zoe was raped a few episodes ago, that took place half way through their semester. My story this is still the first day of school. I hope you enjoy. (:**


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